GRIEF TALK

The Father has been talking to me about grief and how we as people lay the death of our loved ones on him.

Now I was blessed enough to know that was wrong even before my son was killed at just 20 years old.

I had a solid foundation already laid on that subject, that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy but Jesus came to give us life and life more abundantly.

So many people I talk to really have a skewed view on it.

They say things like God must have needed him heaven.

Or they say God was trying to teach me something in my son’s death.

People say that look at all the people that got saved at his service.

While meaning well ALL of it is the furthers thing from the truth.

First, God is a God of love and Jesus said if you have seen me, you’ve seen the Father.

 Nowhere in the four gospels do we see Jesus killing anyone.

What we see is him healing, delivering and saving the lost.

That is who God the father is, and Jesus was his expressed image.

God gave everyone free will and a choice and that is where the beauty is at.

We get to choose him and to walk out our destiny in him.

The Holy Spirit reminded me of the story of David.

David was called of God, anointed for a purpose and had a heart after God who always was willing to repent when he sinned.

That because David always inquired of God through his prophet, he had a grace and protection on him.

This is what scripture said of his death.

“He died at a good old age, having enjoyed a full life, wealth, and honor, and his son

Solomon followed him as king.” 1 Chronicles 29:28

Now this is a picture of what is supposed to be for each of his children.

Jesus is the King of kings and Lord of lords. Meaning you and I are kings and what God has for us is a good old age enjoying a full life.

When that doesn’t happen, we must make sure we are not blaming God for it.

If you think that God caused your loved one’s death you are going to have a hard time accepting it because the WHY question will play repeatedly.

Why would God allow that to happen, Why would God take them??

WHY- WHY -WHY

You will go around in circles never being able to accept it.

You will find that a spirit of grief will settle on you, and you will be sad, depressed and have a heaviness you were not created for.

I have found that in my own personal grief journey that when a wave hits that I start to thank Jesus that his grace was sufficient that day.

I start to be thankful and praise him even in my brokenness that he was still faithful.

It takes all the power out of the grief wave and changes the atmosphere for sorrow to joy.

Allowing grief to consume steals you of any future because you are stuck in what could be thoughts.

Grief is not one of the fruits of the Spirit it’s the opposite of them.

One of the hardest things one will ever go through is losing someone in any other manner than they died peacefully in their sleep.

In my 47 years I have experienced a lot of grief. I mean a lot!!

All the people who in my life who have raised me and shaped me have gone on to be with the Lord.

I had a very special relationship with my grandma and when she got sick and died in 2003, I was not their to witness it.

The night she died I knew in my spirit that she had passed and cried all night long and that morning the call came in saying she was in heaven. I was only 29.

Just a few years later when I was 32 my mom had battled a very long and grueling sickness. I had been by her side the entire time and it took a toll on me mentally.

A couple years after that my brother Joe killed himself after a long battle with substance abuse. Now he wasn’t a blood brother, but we had taken him in and loved him like he was.

This was a hard one because I had been taught that if you take your life you don’t get to heaven. I was tormented for years with the thought of where he was. I have since made peace with this and believe I will see him in heaven because of our prayers.

Fifteen years after my mom passed away my daddy did as well. The day I dropped him off at the VA I knew he wasn’t ever coming home. It was touch and go for weeks and I was in the room when he took his last breath.

I had been praying in the spirit and kept declaring for him to be received in heaven. He turned and looked at me with the most peaceful smile and took his last breath. I have had peace about where he is.

A year and half later our doorbell rang early, and it was the police for us to identify our son from a motorcycle accident.

This was the one that hurt the greatest. This was the one that was an atomic bomb that went off in my life.

This is also the one that I was locked into the Lord with and with the Holy Spirits help I have had a grace to walk through it.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t cry over my son. Sometimes they are happy tears and memories. Other times its agony and despair.

The common thread in all my grief is that God didn’t do any of it.

My grandma’s cancer, my mom’s autoimmune disease, my brother’s suicide, my dad’s widow maker or even my son’s motorcycle accident was not from him.

Jesus’s grace was sufficient on each of those days.

I want to encourage anyone who is grieving right now that God cares about your grief and is even weeping with you.

More importantly he doesn’t want you to stay that way! That Holy Spirit wants to give you peace and joy. He wants you to be able to move forward.

With the prompting of the Father, I started a grief support group in Surprise that will meet twice a month. The 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month.